Spring Day: Loss, Procession, And Emotional Survival

The Sewol Ferry Tragedy happened on the morning of April 16th, 2014. The MV Sewol was en route to Jeju Island, a islet just off the coast of the Korean peninsula, from Incheon on the mainland.  The ferry sent a distress signal about 2.7 kilometers north of Byeongpungdo, an uninhabited island much closer to the Korean coastline. Of the 476 passengers 304 were killed in the disaster. Around 82% of those casualties were children, mostly of high school age. The tragedy resulted in widespread condemnation. From the surviving captain and crew who himself was found guilty of homicide and eventually given a life sentence for abandoning ship and instructing passengers to stay put. Along with his 12 crew members who were given various punishments for abandoning ship. The fallout extended to the government, politicians, officials, and reporters for negligence, distortion of facts, and an attempt at a cover up. These lost souls, their lives extinguished over self-interested cowardice are worth more than this. Their stories deserve to be told, embraced, given life in their death. Not just that which led to their untimely passings. Again, they were and are more than that.

On February 13, 2017, the Korean pop group BTS released their single “Spring Day” along with an accompanying music video. The song itself deals with themes of loss, grief, longing, and moving on from loved ones who have passed. It wasn’t until the music video came out that it’s connection to the Sewol Ferry tragedy started to become apparent. Symbolism involving unattended suitcases in a train that never reaches its destination, piles of clothing, a bare tree in an empty field, tied onto trees hanging by their laces, all presented in a saturated haze of ethereality. It’s color grading intense and otherworldly ephemerality enhanced by tracking shots evoking the scale of unreality. But even with that caveat it’s clear that BTS don’t intend for Spring Day to only be viewed in the context of national tragedy, for its soundscape is one of intimate sorrow, incisive and cutting emotional grief, and longing for a resolution that can never truly arrive.

There’s a distinct pain in its composition. A hint of rebellion and anger in its candor. The unfairness of staccato piano harmony. The cavernous sounds of the percussion a long and resolute exhale of that frustration. The powerlessness sets in again, there is nothing we can do to bring them back, the ease of the our weary souls that they are free from pain and fear. Until we loop back around to those harrowed stages of grief. The vocals of each member appropriately strained, breathless, with a resignation that one day this has to mean something, to us and to their beautiful memories. We regret the unsaid, the times we should be continuing to have together. They existed, they mattered. And what we feel is all we need to know that. 

The wailing we hear alternating in both the background and foreground throughout the song, is unceasing. Prominently hitting both ends of the dynamic spectrum is emblematic of the feeble attempts in vain to quell the quivering of our hearts, a staggering of the soul that peaks and valleys as it courses its way through our vessels. That’s the volume of our memories growing and fading in time and equal measure, as we learn to navigate the fickle storm of loss. The currents strong and uncaring towards the peace we crave, but we know will only be back for more after it passes. Finding solace in the calm waves a little more with each fluctuating cycle. We did it, but we will have to do it again and again armed with more emotional intelligence than before.

The lyrics convey the transitional period of loss with both a poetic elegance and a raw honesty: “until the spring day comes again, until the flowers bloom again, please stay there a little longer.” “I try to blow you away like white smoke. I say that I’ll erase you, truth is I can’t let you go.” Often oscillating between emptiness, sorrow, powerless frustration, gratitude, and longing for presence. Understanding both emotions can exist in an unwilling harmony. Stuck between wanting the pain to end, and knowing all too well why it is there with a resignation that it will last a little longer before stability: “The morning will come again. No darkness, no season can last forever.” The patience that it takes to deal with loss asks a colossal amount of the person grieving. And embracing that journey and living despite it is itself honoring those who have passed on. It’s more than mere sentiment, it is evidence of our power and their inspiration, continuing on with us.

Grief leaves a hole that will never be whole again. An ache that can never heal no matter what we do to cauterize its wound. Time and support is a capable enough pain manager but we will never find a cure, nor should we try to. Fate is an unfair arbiter with no logic, but trying to understand why is an undeniable human urge that we should not shame ourselves for. No matter how much it hurts, and it often hurts our souls indescribably hard, that feeling is the proof we need to know that they meant something. Our love mattered, we shared a precious existence, against all odds, we left each other better than we were when we found each other. Our stories intertwined in such naturalistic harmony, and I will tell yours for as long as mine continues. And no matter how unfairly cut short your story was, you filled it with more texture, color, heart, soul, and beauty than most of us are lucky enough to see, hear, and feel. 

You lived with an individual love that was all your own and graciously shared it with who you could. I only hope you knew just how loved you were by so many and whose lives you changed forever. There was so much for you left to do here with us, for yourself, so much more of your story left to tell, and you deserved to be writing it still. To say it was an honor to know you isn’t enough, to say we will move forward with your treasured memory in our hearts isn’t enough, but for now it has to be. Until then we will continue to hold onto you warmly and believe that this outpouring of love will make its way to you in time. I hope you always knew it was here for you. In eternally lush rolling fields of adoration. 

In cherished memory of Lovly Yang

January 18, 2001 - March 12, 2026