Girls’ Generation’s I Got A Boy: A Personal Examination Of Self-Discovery

In a lot of respects, I wasted the gift of childhood. What many describe as “the most care-free times of our lives” to me is a period of my life I look back on and wonder if I had been smart enough or ready enough to mature at the right time maybe my life and self growth would be further along at this point. I was constantly living in fear of social pressures, trying to fit the mold society wanted me to contort my body into that just didn’t feel right no matter how hard I tried. Don’t get me wrong there were plenty of times that I enjoyed, particularly towards the end of high school, but aside from that there was rarely any other sustained periods of time from it that I hold near to my heart. My beautiful, loving family did everything they could in order to give me the platform to discover individuality, but my own concern of sticking out, being an easy target for others to invalidate, was something I could never find the resolve to instill in myself. Even as my peers did invalidate me over and over again, I tried harder and failed even more.

As I was on the tail end of lyme disease recovery in mid-2014, by pure happenstance I stumbled across an all-female Korean pop group “Girls’ Generation” and their most-viewed music video “I Got A Boy” from the album of the same name. Since the Gangnam Style craze of 2012 I had retained a passing and respectful interest in Kpop but never dove fully into it up to that point. Here was the opportunity right in front of me. As I had tired of my usual pastimes I thought, as anyone aimlessly wandering the internet, “why not?”

The bombardment of boisterous electronic sounds, the confidence exuded by each of the nine performers, the color splash, it was four minutes of pure visual and auditory ecstasy. I couldn’t stop there, I had to see more, I had to know more. 

Through music videos, interviews, live performances, I began to understand who these girls were and why I had taken such a strong liking to them from the beginning. Their ability to be authentic and real (or as much as their public careers allowed them to be) whilst also being apart of a collective unit. I was taken by them. Inspired even, that if in the hectic life of a Kpop idol and the massive scrutiny that (unfortunately) garners that may I too could be a little more individual too. It certainly helped that so many interests I had felt thrust upon me by others as “the socially acceptable” things to be interested in. This was the first time I could recall going off the beaten path to find something I genuinely enjoyed doing, not because it was hip or trendy.

Interestingly enough the I Got A Boy-era is the only one that is self contained in it’s massive popularity and reverence. Whereas they continued to perform, talk about, allude to previous albums and comebacks, anything and everything from IGAB almost felt as though it was specially kept frozen in time to preserve what it was.

Creatively and artistically the album of I Got A Boy represents the most “experimental” time of Girls’ Generation’s careers. Not only were they given the most artistic control they had ever had to that point over its production, being somewhat of a “shock to the system” if you will. Incorporating elements jazz, EDM, soul, and new wave it has an almost celestial, cosmic feel to it, as if this album is so far ahead of it’s time in it’s composition and instrumentation combinations it should be listened to while flying your spaceship to the next planet. It tests limits in a limiting Kpop space and arguably pushed it forward to places it is still visiting regularly today.

It was through these bombastically diverse and vibrant color palettes, self-aware tempo changes, and eccentricities that I came to realize the core message of the song, music video, and the record as a whole was something along the lines of “why not at least try to be individual, what’s the worst that could happen?” But being measured and respectful of just how difficult of an ask that can be. As the seeds planted by Girls’ Generation and their wacky, unabashed, forward-thinking album were taking their time to grow, a sense of self-ownership started to take it’s hold in the months afterwards. Seven years later I’ve more or less found my voice, my individuality, my belief system, and genuine passions. While I may still be cautious about how much of myself I put out into the world, I’m much better at being myself and self-aware than I ever was before gaining the emotional intelligence that I have. Naturally wellness of any kind is a journey, not a destination, so it’s still a work in progress and will hopefully always be.

Girls’ Generation were not only the catalyst to start my own journey of self-discovery, but as stated previously, my true introduction to international creation and just how much art there really is beyond the borders of the english language. They have indirectly helped me shape myself into who I’ve become. And it is for that reason that I am grateful to them. The childlike wonder and fun they give me will endure.